Love at Home

(Isabelle has taken to sitting with an elderly widow in our ward, Afton Wilcox. It is so cute. Afton wraps her coat around the both of them, and they sit snuggled up together throughout the meeting. It's really great for all three of us. Afton likes to have someone to sit with, and Isabelle doesn't have to resort to teasing everyone in sight to fulfill her need for more attention during the meeting than I can give to her with two rambunctious little boys.)

Anyways, my sis-in-law, Kelley had this idea to make "I love you because..." frames and the idea appealed to me because I have always liked to write notes! To make one, you type or write "I love you because..." on a paper and slip it into a frame. Then, you write with dry erase markers on the glass of the frame so that you can change up the message as often as you want. I loved the idea so much I made one for all of my reading kids and Shawn back in January. I try to make it part of my daily routine to change the message on them every day, but the truth is, I get it done about four times per week. I write only sincere messages - not manipulative ones (you know- none of those things that you are sometimes tempted to write just so that your children will hopefully start doing them:).

I have loved this! I'm the type that can see wonderful qualities and things that I love about my children, but I don't tell them as often as I should. Doing this has also brought to my attention that I probably RARELY compliment some of my children. This isn't because I don't love them as much as the others, but because they are going through a more difficult stage and it can seem that there isn't as much to compliment. I didn't realize this until I stood in front of one child's "board"(as we call them) for quite some time before something came to mind that I could write on it:( Knowing that I will soon be writing on it again encourages me to keep looking for all the things I love about them.

One day the little girls came home from school and I hadn't written anything on their boards yet. I asked if they could wait just a minute before going upstairs because I needed to write on everyone's boards still! Maddie said, "Oh. Mom? If you don't mind I'd like to hurry and write down what you wrote about me yesterday. I've been writing down everything in a special notebook and I haven't recorded that one yet." I couldn't believe how much it meant to her! It was another witness to the truth of what I had written the day before: "I love you because... you are grateful for everything you have and get to do."

The power of sincere praise and love is amazing! I can compliment Caden on the amazing amounts of good things he is able to accomplish in the time that he has and the next day he does twice that amount. I can compliment Kami on what a wonderful, kind and patient sister she is and she becomes an even more amazing older sister! The interesting thing is, that I'm not expecting the kids to do more or to do better - I'm happy with the efforts they're already making!

I read a book about "The five love languages" one time, and I have noticed that those in my family who have "words of affirmation" as their primary love language especially love these boards. I can tell that they feel so appreciated and loved!

I love the times that I go into their rooms to write them a new message only to find that a sibling has beat me to it and written a love note to their brother or sister. I love reading what Shawn writes to the kids (he tries to take a turn on the weekends). I love reading the notes that Shawn writes to me before leaving on a trip and I love reading the notes that the kids sneak in and write to Shawn and I. Kami wrote us such a sweet note one day that we couldn't bring ourselves to erase it for days!

Anyways, I thought I would share in case anyone else wants to try this out. Thanks for the great idea, Kelley!