Happy birthday, Shawn

Be aware that the following blog will be a bit sappy.  It's mainly for Shawn.

Today is Shawn's birthday, and do you want to know the sad thing about it?  He can't be home for it.:(  We have agreed to celebrate it on Friday, but I've tried celebrating birthdays on other days before and it's just not the same.  There's a magic to the very day someone was born.  I have been thinking a lot about Shawn lately ( especially today) and how grateful I am for him in my life and for him as the father of our children. He has a demanding, stressful job and I wish that for his birthday he could relax and enjoy life a little bit more with his family!

I've never shared this on my blog before, because it's not something that anyone would particularly care to hear about, (not that anything I write about is) BUT, it illustrates a few things about my husband's sweet/ romantic/disciplined personality:  A few years ago, I finally clued in that I had problems whenever I ate sugar of all things.  I had been feeling really horrible.  I mentioned my discovery to my mom and she said, "That doesn't surprise me, two of your siblings are hypoglycemic."  Well, I'd had no idea about that.  So for a few years I have been really careful about what I eat and then I feel great!  But this summer I got tired of being so careful.  Eating carefully in and of itself wasn't particularly hard for me, but I was always so embarrassed to always be the one in a group that couldn't eat something, and didn't like all the attention to be drawn to me, so on those occasions I began eating what everyone else was eating. I started feeling worse and worse - constant headaches, all-over body aches, feeling like I was walking around in a fog, super tired, and CRANKY!!  After a family reunion, where of course I ate everything that everyone else did, it was particularly bad.  I didn't want to believe that how I was feeling was all a result of sugar - there must be other causes. Hormones imbalances maybe? So we decided that I should go see an endocrinologist.
       Well, this doctor checked my thyroid and found a tumor on my neck - turns out it wasn't active, but  I do still need to go make sure it's O.K. - and she also found that-no surprise- I was VERY hypoglycemic.
       So, back to Shawn. I'm not so sure that he will like me to publicly share this, but... This is why I say he is a romantic: while he loves action shows, he also really loves shows by Jane Austin.  You know, Pride and Prejudice, Emma, etc. Shows that most men either genuinely don't like, or won't admit to liking:) Well shortly after I went to the doctor, he watched the new BBC Emma (It's really good).  Towards the end of the show Mr. Knightly makes a big sacrifice for Emma and tells her that he would do much more than that for her because of his love for her (or something like that).  Shawn is a romantic because he thought, "What would I be willing to do for Amy?" I've just got to wonder how many men would think that to themselves. Then he thought, "I would stop eating sugar with her." He didn't want me to always have to be the odd ball - now we can be odd balls together! (This is a bigger thing than you would think, because it's not just treats that cause me problems, but anything that breaks down to sugar easily inside my body, like white flour, or anything else that's been refined.)
       Shawn has eaten just like me for the last four months and it helps me so much!  Shawn has always really loved his food and it's so touching to me that he would give up so many of his favorite foods because he loves me more.

Other great things I love about Shawn:
* He is a very giving person.  His wants are so often brushed to the side because of something that  I want done or that the kids need. He really is so selfless, giving up so much for us over and over again, all of the time.

Fishing with Caden at my parent's house

* He has a strong sense of protecting our family and providing for us. I feel like he would do anything in the world for me and the kids.
* He always has wise counsel and suggestions for us.

* He is so kind.  Many people think he looks so stern (he's a naturally serious and intense kind of guy) and I guess a lot of people commented on that as he was growing up.  One day when we were dating I commented on how kind his eyes were.  That has always meant so much to him.

* His innate kindness isn't an asset to his job.  Sometimes it becomes necessary to fire someone and he HATES that!  He stews over it and tries to find another way, but when he finally has to let someone go he is so down after-wards.  I'm glad that he doesn't relish that duty.
* He can figure out a solution to any problem.  I'm always telling him my ideas for landscaping, or projects, or whatever.  Rarely does he say, "That's not possible.  I don't know how I would do that."  The times that he has said that, I have said, "But you can figure out anything!!"  (because he always has in the past) He ruefully laughs, and then he does!

*He is a thinker.  Sometimes when he is sitting quietly, I like to ask him what he is thinking about. He thinks about things that I would never even think to think about! One of his favorite things to think about is politics. He solves all sorts of world problems while he is thinking. 
* He is a dreamer.  He dreams about what he would do if he could do anything in the world (own a big ranch that someone else would run for him and where we would spend every summer and long weekends and he could jump onto a horse and ride off into the sunset whenever he wanted to.)
   All he has to do is spend some time out in our yard and he comes in with the coolest ideas - like building an ice skating rink for the kids, or the perfect patio.  The dreams are all in his head and he has to hurry and sketch them out on paper so that I can catch the vision. We've brought lots of his dreams to fruition, and they're even more awesome in real life!

We've never gone to the ocean when it's really warm, but it's kind-of nice; we always have the whole place to ourselves!

 *He is supportive of everything that  I do.
* When something's going on with one of the kids and I've had it, he is able to step in and be patient.  He is able to help me see their side of a situation, and gets me back to feeling more patient myself.  Sometimes it just helps for him to remind me about their age.  When I worry about one of the kid's actions, he tells me about something similar that he did when he was their age, and I'm able to feel more hopeful.

* He is very disciplined.  He'd probably get to bed at a decent hour every night if it weren't for me - sometimes I just want to talk and talk and talk! But MOST nights we get to bed at a decent hour, and when we do, he gets up at 5:00 so that he can exercise. He then exercises for about an hour and then comes and joins me and the three older kids and we read/study our scriptures until 6:30 when he goes and gets Isabelle up (Nolan generally already is) for family scriptures. (He has to exercise so early so that he can be sure and fit all of that in.)
* He has a very healthy conscience. He tries so hard to do what's right.

* He is a perfectionist.  He takes his time on everything he does, doesn't cut any corners and starts over if it doesn't turn out right.  When I comment on what a perfectionist he is he says, "Yes, I am!  Why else do you think that I got the perfect woman?!" (Last time he said that the kids were sitting around beaming). The fact that he would say that shows, once again, what a kind person he is because he knows me better than anyone and sees all of my inadequacies, irritating behaviors and bad moods and is still willing to over-look them and pretend...
* I really love his voice.  When we were first engaged he was at my house and my Aunt Maretta came up and met him.  He stood up to shake hands with her and she commented on his nice build.  He said, "Thank you!" and she said, "And he has such a nice voice, too!" He does.  A nice, deep voice.
* He's very sympathetic and is a lot more tender about injuries, illnesses and everything else than I am.

Nolan (this was a few years ago) and Shawn checking out Caden's injury.

 * It's really important to him that the kids learn how to work hard, and he spends a lot of time working with them (and thinking up jobs for them to do).

Cleaning up our land with his crew

* He takes the time to teach and expose the kids to new things and make sure they have a great childhood even though many times he would probably love to sit down and read a book more than anything else.

on a camp-out

 * He gets just as big a kick out of these kids we're raising as I do!  It's so nice to be proud of something that your child has accomplished and have someone else feel just the same way- and think they're just as cute and just as talented and just as amazing.

Holding new-born Abram

I know all the travel isn't Shawn's favorite part of his job.  He misses the family and the home life so often.  When he started this job, I made it a point not to complain about his frequent traveling because I figured that it would only make doing his job harder on him.  Many times I feel like I haven't struck a very good balance in being supportive that way and making sure that he knows how much I miss him. I try to act like I don't mind his leaving every time he leaves and like I am very independent and can take care of everything while he's gone all by myself. And I guess I do - even though I generally have to call at least once a day just for instructions on how to do something or on what I should do about something (I am not any sort of a mechanic or fix-it person, for instance.) In fact, I'm really not all that independent in a lot of ways. It is really hard to have him gone so much (hats off to single parents - there's nothing easy about that job) and I do miss him terribly and nothing feels quite right or is the same until he gets home again.

Happy Birthday, Shawn! You're the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I love and appreciate you so much!